Need to get a new background...

I need a new background for this blog. When I picked the current one, I knew it would be temporary but I haven't gotten around to finding a new one.

We're still working on getting everything together for our trip in November. The biggest obstacle right now is him getting his name change legal and getting his passport. His name has always been a bit of a question mark. He had taken on both his mom's and dad's last name because his dad was a big loser. So on some documents it's one way and on others it's another way. So yeah. Lots of confusion there. So he's going through the process of getting his name figured out. Which isn't that big of a process. He's just waiting for a phone call then he can go sign the paper. Then he'll send his passport papers out and then once he has his passport he'll send the money for the hotel and we'll start booking everything.

As my feelings for Scott have grown this... tension, I guess is what it's called, has also grown in my mind. It's this big knot of stress that is always there about if he's safe, when we'll be together, if he is going to be able to move here anytime soon, if maybe he is growing weary of keeping up a long distance relationship, if he having a bad day, wanting to be with him to comfort him and take care of him, and on and on and on the list could go. I've always been a major stress bomb so this isn't really a surprise. But the tension is starting to leak into my body. My shoulders are always tense. My forehead is always creased. My muscles are getting sore. And I know that I need to get a handle on this because it's only going to get worse. It feels like my body is aching and trying to pull me towards where ever he is. I know that sounds ridiculous. But just the thought of him holding me and rubbing my shoulders makes my body ache. *sigh* The woes of long distance.

Yeah, I know this post is super random. But I need to blog more. And I didn't really have anything planned to say, so I just let myself ramble. That usually produces something of value and fills up a blog. So maybe letting myself ramble will get me to post more. We'll see.

OH! P.S. Only four months until our trip!! Ahhh!