Need to get a new background...

I need a new background for this blog. When I picked the current one, I knew it would be temporary but I haven't gotten around to finding a new one.

We're still working on getting everything together for our trip in November. The biggest obstacle right now is him getting his name change legal and getting his passport. His name has always been a bit of a question mark. He had taken on both his mom's and dad's last name because his dad was a big loser. So on some documents it's one way and on others it's another way. So yeah. Lots of confusion there. So he's going through the process of getting his name figured out. Which isn't that big of a process. He's just waiting for a phone call then he can go sign the paper. Then he'll send his passport papers out and then once he has his passport he'll send the money for the hotel and we'll start booking everything.

As my feelings for Scott have grown this... tension, I guess is what it's called, has also grown in my mind. It's this big knot of stress that is always there about if he's safe, when we'll be together, if he is going to be able to move here anytime soon, if maybe he is growing weary of keeping up a long distance relationship, if he having a bad day, wanting to be with him to comfort him and take care of him, and on and on and on the list could go. I've always been a major stress bomb so this isn't really a surprise. But the tension is starting to leak into my body. My shoulders are always tense. My forehead is always creased. My muscles are getting sore. And I know that I need to get a handle on this because it's only going to get worse. It feels like my body is aching and trying to pull me towards where ever he is. I know that sounds ridiculous. But just the thought of him holding me and rubbing my shoulders makes my body ache. *sigh* The woes of long distance.

Yeah, I know this post is super random. But I need to blog more. And I didn't really have anything planned to say, so I just let myself ramble. That usually produces something of value and fills up a blog. So maybe letting myself ramble will get me to post more. We'll see.

OH! P.S. Only four months until our trip!! Ahhh!

Somedays...

Somedays you feel the sting of absence that comes with a LDR more than usual.
Somedays you have to fight back tears when you say goodbye.
Somedays you feel so hopeless you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel anymore. Somedays are harder than others, but for every someday there's most days.

Most days you feel so happy you wonder what's keeping you from floating right up into the clouds.
Most days you wonder how you could ever be so lucky as to find someone so wonderful.
Most days you feel a happy glow thinking about the next time you'll be with them.
Most days are happier than somedays, and as difficult as it can be, I'll push through the somdays to keep the happiness that comes with most days.

Long distance love song...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G2AHsfytKoE

"But darling... save the last dance for me"

I used to dance competition ballroom. Every single boyfriend I've had hates to dance. I would always try to trick them into dancing and sometimes try to bribe but it never happened. I've always thought it would be so romantic to be with someone that would pull me into a dance at random moments with or without music.

Scottloves to dance. He thinks ballroom dancing to old music (Frank Sinatra and the likes) with someone you love is wonderful. He has taken ballroom classes before, so he even knows how to do it right.

We're looking for resturants in the Anaheim, CA area (where we're going to meet this November) that have ballroom dancing. If anyone has suggestions, that would be awesome.

Just thinking about dancing with him gives me butterflies. I can't wait. :)

This is crazy!

So, I posted the post about meeting in November at work earlier today. I got home around 8 pm and he was awake to talk to me (it's like 4 am his time... yeah... he goes to sleep early so he can wake up early and talk to me, he's just that awesome.) So we start talking and now we have flights picked (not yet booked just in case something comes up and changes the dates a bit) and a hotel picked. My head is spinning. This is really happening. And he's not the kind of guy to change his mind about something he's set on. He's just as desperate as me to meet so I know that this is definitely happening. My hands are shaking. I'm nervous and excited and happy and anxious and so many other things. This is crazy!

LFAD

I'm part of an online forum for people in long distance relationships, and I post blogs up there more often than on here, so I'm going to copy/paste some of those blogs over to here and TRY to post here more often.

Is this really happening?

We've set a date to meet.


Yeah. I'm freaking out. We're going to spend 11 days in California. November 13th. 5 months from now. I kinda wish it was sooner, but at the same time I'm wondering how I'll ever be prepared to meet him in only 5 months. We're not really making big plans for the trip. We just want to spend time together. So we'll just go out to dinner and go to movies and such. Maybe a trip to Disneyland, but we're not sure. We started looking at hotels today. We're kinda splurging on the hotel since we'll probably spend a lot of time there.... Get your mind out of the gutter. We just want to spend time together; cuddle and watch movies. That kind of thing. Geez.

For anyone that hasn't guessed yet, we met online and haven't met in person yet. We've been together for 6 months, this month. Several people have said they're shocked it lasted that long without meeting. I don't know why that's so shocking. We're in love, of course we're still together after 6 months. Sure, it sucks to be so far from him, but I would rather be with him like this than not at all. There's not a doubt in my mind that this relationship can go the distance. I fully intend to marry this man. And he fully intends to move here and make it happen. I read other peoples blogs about second guessing and all that, and I wonder why I haven't felt that yet. Neither of us (as in me and him). We've never had a "rough patch" where we considered breaking up. We both know that it might be easier for the other person if we loved someone else that was closer, but there's nothing we can do about that. We love each other. What's the point in entertaining ideas of breaking up when you know that you won't find someone else that you love this much? I'm not trying to say that our relationship is better than anyone elses, I just wonder sometimes what it means that we haven't experienced that.

Anyway, I think I'm rambling now. I'm just so excited that this is really happening.